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April 23rd, 2006 (12:51 am)

hi,
i thought i'd share a method of dream journal exploration i sometimes use. It involves a variation of the cut-up method of Wlm. Burroughs. The following dream i posted to my private journal. A day or so later as i re-read it i drew a line down the center of the text and read the left half of it first, and the righthand half second. Then i wrote out what i read, and edited it here and there several times over a number of days. Though the details are ultimately a touch garbled, and the continuity is changed around, i think the new text reads as a more faithful account of the dream as i experienced it, while the original (hewing as it does to the enforced shaping process of narrative) gives an account of the dream strictly as i strove to remember it. The cut-up is a process which may require some experimentation and tinkering-with (editing) to master, and sometimes it really works while at other times it really dosent, but the results, in my opinion, are worth the practice, and can sometimes provide really fresh insights to significant dreams. Anyway, pardon my long windedness. Here is a (short) dream cut-up followed by the original:

One morning, at the beginning of 2005 or possibly beginning of '04, forward to end of night's dreaming. A house in New Orleans, one of those raised below each side and a staircase running up. The LionDog, all godlike, arrived in curiosity and much animal compassion radiating off its being. Moved in so, smell a beautiful animal smell, its black fur and moist breath. I have never a sense of smell in the dreaming nor met a dietyfigure. Inexplicably, John Giorno was in a stucco double with a carport center. Before, i was in my bed and a Chinese LionDog was silently observing me. i felt so so close, we were eye to eye, where i could before nor since, experienced the. Then i woke up.
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One morning at the beginning of 2005 or end of '04, inexplicably, John Giorno was in my dreaming. His house was in new orleans, one of those raised stucco doubles, with a carport below each side and a staircase running up the center.Then i was in my bed and a Chinese LionDog, all godlike, arrived in curiosity and was silently observing me. i felt so much compassion radiating off its being. Moved in so close, we were eye to eye, and i could smell a beautiful doggy smell, fur and breath. I have never before nor since experienced the sense of smell in the dreaming, nor met a dietyfigure. Then i woke up.

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SometimesI do this same thing to parts of my pityparty journal entries too, paragraph by individual paragraph. Often i find myself re-reading the finished cut-up and thinking, dang, this is so much more in line with what i'm feeling today, in the light of a couple of days or weeks hindsight, as opposed to where my self pitying heiney was when i wrote this the first time. Heres an example:

I wonder if i should take hormones now? Not just as a pipe-dream, but because i want to be more like a womwn's. Just for fun. But i want both? One first and then the other, but on which? Yeah, good idea. Maybe? Sterility is an issue too, sacrifices in the service of illusions which may; go the therapist i was with in 2000, he who has thee to be a transsexual, thats more or less a sea, if my face changes, becomes anything a lover's, too. i dont know. Cant i have do i wait? Probably on the hormones, though lord knows I'm used to making may not. Today i tried to find Terry Myers, (hook-up with the endocrinologist) to see about resuming sessions with him. Back then he was willing to provide a referral if i had wanted it. i drove by his house, but like every other house in new orleans, its under renovation, there was nobody home, and he no longer appears in the book.
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I wonder if i should take hormones now? Not to be a transsexual, thats more or less a pipe-dream, but just because i would like to see if my face changes, becomes anything more like a womwn's. Just for fun. But i want a lover, too. i just dont know. Can't i have both? One first and then the other, but on which do i wait? Probably on the hormones, yeah, good idea. Maybe? Sterility is an issue too, though lord knows I'm used to making sacrifices in the service of illusions which may or may not. Today i tried to find Terry Myers, the therapist i was with in 2000, (he who has the hook up with an endocrinologist), to see about resuming sessions with him. Back then he was ready to provide a referral if i had wanted it. i drove by his house, but like every other house in new orleans, its under renovation, there was nobody home, and he dont appear in the book.